FEELINGS ARE A PART OF MY LIFE
Everyone has feelings. When we are aware of how we feel, we are in touch with a basic part of ourselves. Many of us choose to accept the happy ones and deny those that don’t feel so good. Why do we do this? We would rather ignore them than face them. We don’t know how to handle them, how to express them or how to heal the pain. In reality feelings are a mysterious force in our lives when are not aware of them. I.M. Heart helps clear up the mystery so that feelings of pain can be healed and feelings of happiness and pleasure can flourish. The process described below will get you started in allowing feelings to be a part of your life.
NOTICE
Become aware of what you’re feeling. Observe and listen, without judgment, to feelings that are an everyday part of your life. From first waking up to when you put your head on the pillow at night you experience a constant flow of feelings – changing from minute to minute. We move through our days not being fully aware of feelings moving through us. Let them float through your awareness – just listen as they pass by. For many of us, this is a new experience.
Noticing is the first step. If we don’t notice what we’re feeling – then the rest of these steps are meaningless. It’s like we are sleep walking through life – going through the motions of living without really fully experiencing either the joy or the sorrow of it. Life contains both and that’s what makes it so rich. If noticing is a new experience for you – start slow and easy, patient and kind – but begin to pay attention to what you’re feeling in your everyday world.
FEEL
Allow yourself to feel. I repeat – allow yourself to feel. Be honest about any joy, boredom, doubt, hope or excitement you may feel. Simply ask yourself, “How do I feel about this?” This can be a quick five-second check or if we have time we can take a few minutes to evaluate. If more time is needed, find a quiet place and let the feelings bubble to the surface, just to feel them.
When we know what we feel, then we can choose how we want to handle those feelings. If we don’t know, we are walking around in a blind spot to our future – just as there is a blind spot in the side mirror as we are driving down the highway.
UNDERSTAND
By honestly questioning of ourselves, we can come to understand the source or motivation behind our feelings. Compassionate understanding is a gigantic step to healing. Instead of beating up on yourself for being upset or sad, treat yourself like you would your best friend. Seek to question, listen and understand. Ask yourself about these feelings. “What am I feeling and why? Have I felt his way before? Does this pattern repeat itself? What am I afraid of? Why am I hiding from with these feelings? Why am I reluctant to be honest about how I feel?” In answering these questions, we begin to understand ourselves.
Many of us are carrying around feelings that have been submerged for a very long time – from childhood, a lost friendship, or a perceived failure. We couldn’t or didn’t cope with those feelings at the time – and the fallout from those effects our view of the world today. Getting in touch with healing changes us, our view of the world, and how we interact with those around you. It’s like a brick – or maybe two – has been removed from our back.
ACCEPT
These are my feelings. They are not good or bad, right or wrong – they are a part of me. Some of them can be intense, some thrilling, and some very tranquil. Don’t judge them, but accept them as information about who I.M. By not judging them, we remove the stigma that it is not acceptable to have them and they become less of a huge, hairy monster to be feared.
As a complex person, we can expect feelings to change moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day. Accept, without judgment or criticism, this continuous flow of feeling. With this ebb and flow of feeling, we learn something new about ourselves and the world around us. Feelings give us valuable and important information.
HEAL
Feel it to heal it – so we can release it and let it go. There is no benefit for us to hang onto hurtful feelings from the past. These feelings are like dragging a bag of rocks, chunks of fear, from the past as we walk to the future. Rocks weigh us down and keep us from moving forward to take advantage of new opportunities and experiences.
Instead of finding a benefit in hanging onto the bruised feeling, find a benefit to let it go. The relief and freedom that comes from releasing old hurts is amazing – a new person emerges. That person can be you.
LOVE
I.M. a human being – not perfect — not supposed to be. I accept all my warts, freckles and blemishes as part of who I .M. Those are great, individual parts of the character that is me. I.M. the real deal and a very lovable, worthy person.
Many times we are the least loving to ourselves. Let’s stop this, back off, and give ourselves credit for being who we are, at this time, in this place. Yes, we’ve made mistakes, and so has everyone else. So what? I.M. still a lovable, worthy individual with much love to give and much love to receive. I.M. loving myself – just as I.M. right now!
FEAR
Feelings of fear can stop us. We are reluctant to start a new relationship, make a phone call, or enroll in a class. Something inside us tells us we cannot succeed, something bad will happen, or we will be embarrassed. The most personal fears are those related to how we feel about ourselves. We often think we are not a worthy, valuable, lovable human beings. These feelings, from the inside, influence our actions and choices on the outside.
We are familiar with feelings of fear. We have all lived with those feelings. We are probably more familiar with feelings of fear than feelings of love. Fear can be a friend of foe. Make it your friend – use it to grow.
CHOOSE TO CHANGE
We can choose to change old patterns, by allowing ourselves to feel the full range of feelings, from joy to despair. This choice will change our actions and behaviors because we are learning about feelings, instead of avoiding them.
Our choice to change puts us in the process of learning more about ourselves. As we travel this path, let’s look for how we can change old limiting patterns, be aware of new emerging behaviors, and listen to what our feelings tell you about the different choices we are making. How do these new choices feel? How will this affect my life? What have I discovered about myself? These choices will take us forward into the future,
GET READY FOR THE RIDE
When we go to the ocean we watch waves crash to the shore, washing over the sandy beach. The waves are continuous, never ending, sometimes fierce and sometimes very gentle. They travel the huge ocean carrying various life forms and debris onto the sand. As the waves roll in and hit the sandy beach the sand shifts and settles back again, waiting for the next wave.
When we make a commitment to heal bruised feelings, get ready for the ride. Our commitment will bring opportunity for both gale force winds and balmy seas. It is necessary for it to be that way. However staying the course means we can look forward to fewer hurricanes and more beautiful, sunny days at the beach.
ENJOY THE REWARDS
Most of us function very well in the world we live in. Yet if you really talk to people, everyone is walking around with knots of feeling about events that have happened in their life. Although we are happy and successful, one has to wonder what we could do if we healed those knots. How are they stopping us from having a life that could bring us even more pleasure and abundance?
Freedom comes from releasing fear-based feelings and finally accepting the many gifts coming from love. The goal is to love more and fear less. All feelings – hope, gratitude, compassion, enthusiasm, contentment, serenity —- and —- frustration, confusion, doubt, guilt, pessimism come from either love or fear. Truly releasing the fear based ones makes way to receive more of the blessings coming from love.
The rewards I.M. Heart has experienced are an increasing serenity, strength, and clarity. Without that veil of negative feeling, the world looks different. A sense of confidence, worth and deserving develops. Are there still pot holes to crawl out of? Yes, of course, but you know there is a way out and is the difference. Will you take these steps with me to open your heart to feel? Think of it this way – experiment with feeling. This process of personal honesty will make you a different person. On that journey you will find many gifts. These gifts will enrich your life. You deserve to give these gifts to yourself. Blessings!