Picture this scene. Three young children are playing in the front yard with Dad sitting in a chair watching them. Two of them are playing an outside game with balls and the other one is riding the bike up and down the sidewalk. Dad often walks along beside the bike riders as they are allowed to only travel a short distance in front of the house. This is a busy street, so Dad is protective as these kids move around and play.
On this particular morning, the daughter is riding the bicycle up the street and turns it over. She screams as she lands on the ground, holding her knee. Dad walks to her, talks to her, helps her up and picks up the bicycle. He quickly walks the bicycle back to the front of the house with the child slowly shuffling along after him, head down; obviously upset. Dad goes back and sits down in his chair. The little girl stops and walks across the yard, wiping her face with the corner of her dress. Is she wiping away a tear? Most likely she is. Then the child hesitates, then walks to her Dad seated in his chair and says something to him. I can see him talk to her briefly. However, through this whole scenario, not once did I see Dad give her a comforting touch, hug her, smile at her, or wipe away a tear. In this whole incident, he was very sober and watched his children, but never really joined them in play. I never saw him laugh and smile as if he enjoyed being with them. I do not know if this is a loving parent. I am only an observer of the scene. However, if I were the little girl, I would have wanted someone to look at my knee, give me a hug and make the “oowie” better.
So, what’s my point with this story? Many times the scrapes and bruises from childhood stay with us into adulthood. Seemingly small, insignificant incidents can make an impression. We make assumptions about being lovable and loved. We learn that it ok to feel both happiness and pain. We learn that we are ok, even when we fall off the bike. We each process these childhood experiences differently. For one daughter this would be no big deal. For the other one, maybe more sensitive, this could make an imprint to be overcome. This little child needed some love when she got hurt. She was scared and just needed some gentle words and actions. Many of don’t know how to simply open our hearts and love. I.M. Heart encourages each of us to open our hearts – to ourselves and to each other.
The show on MTV from Freedom High School and the Challenge Day is right on target and something every parent should see. Go to: http://www.mtv.com/shows, then select the show If You Really Knew Me. In reality, this show is not just about teens, it is about all of us. It touched my heart!