We’ve all heard the expression, “We are all more alike than different.” There are many ways in which we are alike.  Physically, our bodies function much the same. Mentally, we process information and manage our lives. We all have emotions that impact our choices and decisions.  Yet, we often think that we are the only person in the entire world who could have these crazy feelings, thoughts or beliefs. If we were only brave enough to talk, we would discover that everyone goes through the same struggles and challenges in life. Just by sharing it would help all to know that we are not alone, that others are just like us.

I was talking about divorce with a friend who is three years out from a second divorce.  Together we had watched a movie that pointed out that it takes us several years to work through all the feelings of guilt, anger, shame, regret, or hurt from that experience. I know others who have experienced this and it takes time to find who you are as a single person. Yet if asked how we are coping we tell everyone, “just fine.”  In reality we are not just fine, we are in the process of becoming just fine.  What we may discover is that being alone allows us time to grow and change in ways that would have been impossible in a relationship.  This growing phase allows us to find new parts of ourselves – alone and lonely – but stretching and changing.

I’ve talked to people with challenges in parenting, work situations that are suffocating, or baby boomers coping with aging parents. There are people who have suffered terrible abuse, or have experienced a family tragedy that break their hearts.  If we could be real and honest with each other, not judgmental, but supporting – can you imagine how it would help all of us to cope with life situations? The person who is afraid, sad, or angry today, may be you tomorrow.

So, pay attention to a friend, co-worker, family member, neighbor, or even a stranger.  We are all traveling this journey called life – and we all have our ups and downs.  The bottom line is that we are all more alike than different. We can reach out to others in very simple ways – to connect and to let them know that we care about them.  Have you ever honestly shared an experience and had someone say, “Yes, I’ve felt like that?” Now you’ve connected, you’ve opened the door for discussion, and you know that you are not the only one who has walked this path. How can you help each other? In a world where many people feel very alone, honestly connecting and being real might actually result in fewer lonely people. Will everyone be willing to talk to you? No, some will run, hide and refuse to talk.  They are still just like you – so be kind, compassionate and open to reaching out in friendship.